Wait Until You See Her Now – Tamara's Story

My name is Tamara and I am a Mother in Recovery.

I am proud to be a Mother in Recovery but I can tell you I didn't always feel this way. Most addicts can agree that when we come into Recovery there are all these feelings we have to face around shame. As a woman and as a mother i believe there is a whole other level of shame. A much deeper one that kept me personally from seeking help.

I was ashamed that I was a single mother, I was ashamed that I couldn't provide a safe loving environment for my son. Most of all I was ashamed that I could not stop using drugs and that using became my priority. The other piece that kept me trapped was fear. I knew that I was dying and that i needed to ask for help but I had fear that people would judge me because why wouldn't the love of my child be enough for me to just stop? I had fear of disappointing my family and of course the biggest fear, being separated from my son and possibly having him taken away forever. Making the decision to seek help has been the most rewarding thing for both my son and I however it has had many challenges .

Getting clean is a huge life change and trying to work on yourself and your recovery while trying to parent is anything but easy and support is essential. The same way one addict/alcoholic helps another or family members support each other through sharing their experience, strength and hope in their struggles is the same way we mothers are able to support each other in Mothers Recovery Tribe. To have a place where finally there is no judgement, no shame, no fear.  Only a group of mothers on their own individual paths of recovery who come together and share their experiences. The connections I have made through MRT have given me a security that I can get through anything and that I wont be alone.

For example I reached out in our secret group and shared a post on some struggles I was having with my son. Of course this old part of me felt afraid again of judgement and that I may be shamed if I open up. With in 20 minutes I had an overwhelming amount of comments suggesting books/articles I could read up on, suggestions for local resources and what I guess I most needed was mother after mother telling me that it was okay and that they could relate and words of encouragement that I was trying my best. Just an abundance of love.

Attending our MRT meeting is always a huge highlight of my week and as our tribe grows I am hoping we will have more meetings available to Mothers looking to join in! I am grateful for our tribe. I have found a space to be vulnerable and real and loved. Today I get to be the mother I hoped I could be and one of my biggest desires is to help mothers who may feel like I did at one time. Mothers who might think that they are alone and are too afraid to seek help. My hope is that together we can work on letting go of past shame and guilt and be proud that we are Moms in Recovery.

Mother’s Recovery Tribe Society exists to empower mothers on ALL paths of recovery with the strength and courage found in each other. MRT needs financial support to continue to provide and increase access to these critical resources for mothers in recovery from addiction, poverty, relationship breakdown and abuse of any kind. We believe that when you help support one mother recover, you help a whole family heal from the affects of addiction. To reach our goal, we need your help.

Send MRT a message today about how YOU can help Mothers Recover from Addiction! OR … if you are a mother only ANY path of recovery from addiction, contact MRT to Join Our Tribe!

We do recover – but never alone.

Frances Stone is President of Mother’s Recovery Tribe Society and lives her life passionately as an advocate for ALL mothers on ALL pathways of recovery. Frances is a Certified Addictions Counsellor, Author of A Reflection of Love ~ A Different Kind of Love Story and Former Radio Co-Host of Talk Recovery Vancouver, a show about addiction and recovery issues, located in the DTES of Vancouver, BC. Frances Stone’s greatest love and passion is for her three clever, curious and challenging growing tweens & teens!