My name is Bobbi Passmore and I’m a very proud and grateful Mother in Recovery.
Of course I’m not proud of my past being in addiction, but I’m extremely proud of how far I’ve come and how the gifts of recovery and perseverance have changed my life. I can honestly say I’m a stronger, wiser and more loving mother, wife, friend and family member to those in my life today.
This is my story…
I grew up in a small town where the word “addict” was very rarely used and where watching intervention on tv made people’s jaws drop in disbelief about whether it was real or fake! My childhood wasn’t the best but my mom did the best she could raising 2 kids by herself. My mom and I were super close and shared a love and bond that not every mother and daughter gets to experience and I couldn’t be more grateful that we had the relationship we did!
I had my first child when I was 24 years old. I had the most beautiful little boy and named him Ryder. I honestly thought my life was perfect until I started having back and stomach pain from complications from his birth and I was prescribed morphine for the pain. From the moment I started taking those pills and became dependent on something I knew nothing about, was when things started getting rough for me.
I started needing more and more pills and was soon abusing them. My doctor found out and cut me off and then I started buying much stronger stuff where ever I could find it.. I was struggling to be a good mom cause if I didn’t have anything to take that day I could barely get outa bed. My life began to throw me things I don’t think anyone could be prepared for, like my mom got sick and was given 2 months to live when they found a tumour the size of a grapefruit in the back of her head. She was 48 years old at the time. This news and experience changed me for the rest of my life. I was trying to understand why this was happening and I began taking oxycodone not just for pain but to numb my feelings.
We decided to try an aggressive chemo treatment out of town so I told my boyfriend/father to our child that I was going with her and our son will have to stay with him as kids are not aloud at the cancer clinic for terminally ill. I didn’t think twice about leaving our son who was 2.5 years old at the time with his dad. While I was with my mother, he left me for another woman and took my son, the house, the car and the business.
I was completely devastated. My addiction got worse. I chose to stay and take care of my mother for the last few weeks of her life. He stopped letting me see my son cause I was high on drugs. Soon after, I lost both my grandparents and in under two years, I had lost my whole family.
It’s been 10 years since I’ve laid eyes on my beautiful baby boy who is my world. Unfortunately, I dealt with it the only way I new how at the time and I fell hard and landed in treatment. I got kicked out and at age 28, that’s when I tried heroin for the first time.
If you’ve ever seen intervention on TV I was living it. My life continued in a dysfunctional scary horrible lifestyle for seven years. By the grace of God, at the very end of my addiction I met my soulmate and we were both thrown in jail the same day. We wrote letters back-and-forth from jails, both got on Suboxone and began to experience having a clear head and started planning our future drug-free, happy and together. 2 to 3 months later we were in the same recovery house and that’s where our amazing journey really began. We spent eight months in recovery learning tools to have a successful, positive recovery. We just celebrated our two years clean together and were granted custody of his nine-year-old son, whose name is also Ryder!
Today, we have taken care of our financial situations from the past and we’re both involved with our families and they couldn’t be more proud of how far we’ve come. On Christmas Eve, he asked me to marry him and we are now engaged and excited about spending the rest of our lives together, clean and sober.
Unfortunately, when I was one year clean from drugs, my ex found out and moved out of the country knowing I can’t go there due to my criminal record. My son continues not to know who I am and that I’m his mom but through a lot of tears and heartache, I have accepted that I am powerless over other people’s actions and I have put our future in God’s hands. I hold onto a keepsake box where I put birthday cards, Christmas cards and letters explaining how much I love and miss him and how I hope and pray for the day that I get to see him again.
I know all too well that choices come with consequences and one day they’ll have to deal with theirs. I am grateful for my amazing life with my soulmate who treats me better than I ever knew possible we have an amazing family and a beautiful home, a car and mostly, our sanity. When I have down days I reach out to people who support me and care and I find this Mothers Recovery Tribe group is one of the most amazing smartest group of people that I have so much respect for cause it’s not easy to be a mother in recovery and I’m truly grateful to be apart of it. I wish there was a MRT meeting I could attend that was closer to home.
I thought I’d save the best part of my recovery for last. In recovery, I became pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on Mother’s Day 2018 she gives me new purpose, new meaning and a new chance to be the best mom I can be and to live the best life I can not just her or my family but for ME!! I’m so grateful to be clean and sober and to live this precious gift called LIFE!!
Mother’s Recovery Tribe Society exists to empower mothers on ALL paths of recovery with the strength and courage found in each other. MRT needs financial support to continue to provide and increase access to these critical resources for mothers in recovery from addiction, poverty, relationship breakdown and abuse of any kind. We believe that when you help support one mother recover, you help a whole family heal from the affects of addiction. To reach our goal, we need your help.
Send MRT a message today about how YOU can help Mothers Recover from Addiction! OR … if you are a mother only ANY path of recovery from addiction, contact MRT to Join Our Tribe!
We do recover – but never alone.
Frances Stone is President of Mother’s Recovery Tribe Society and lives her life passionately as an advocate for ALL mothers on ALL pathways of recovery. Frances is a Certified Addictions Counsellor, Author of A Reflection of Love ~ A Different Kind of Love Story and Former Radio Co-Host of Talk Recovery Vancouver, a show about addiction and recovery issues, located in the DTES of Vancouver, BC. Frances Stone’s greatest love and passion is for her three clever, curious and challenging growing tweens & teens!