This is one of those moments writing gave me hope to stay in today and have faith in tomorrow.
I was at my mother's house, the place I always ran to when I was struggling with my life and self and I was having a bad day. Actually, I couldn't even remember the last good day because there was so much STRESS. Just the normal, everyday stress of being a single mother to three children (which is A LOT!) compounded by not being able to work due to childcare and union contracts (long story), their father going to jail and losing his little bit of help, living away from my family & community (only place there was affordable housing), experiencing the despair of poverty on a daily basis, while trying to stay sober. on this day, I just couldn't take it anymore. I thought my children would be better off without me and I wanted to run away.
I'm glad I didn't.
Today was a very hard day. So, I prayed.
I prayed; in a secret place,
where no one, could see or judge.
To a God,
I'll never fully understand,
but still believe; holds me gently
in His hand.
And that in His time, not mine;
if I don't give up, or in,
Promises - to restore me, once again.
I prayed; not to run away.
for how far, how fast and how long,
would my mother heart - need to run,
to forget its way?
I will stay here, I will pray here,
in this safe and secret place,
until I feel my Father's love.
I will choose
to believe in Promises, Rainbows
and Dreams that do come true.
I prayed; to a God, who is Love,
who knows my heart and understands.
Open a door. A window;
just enough - to breathe.
Speak to me,
of my tomorrow
that only you can see,
as I prayed
- For Peace.
All my Relations - Frances Stone, Ms. Recovery Writes
Frances Stone is the Author of A Reflection of Love ~ A Different Kind of Love Story, a Recovery Counsellor and a Radio Co-Host of Talk Recovery Vancouver, a show about addiction and recovery issues, located in the DTES of Vancouver, BC. In her spare time, she does laundry and mothers three clever, curious and challenging little humans.