Love Me, Love Me Not
 Maya, the picture of innocence here. Aren't we all?

Maya, the picture of innocence here. Aren't we all?

This poem reminds me of how hard it was in the beginning of my recovery to not run away from myself and just stand and feel. In recovery, I began to connect the dots of how my relationship with my father affected the relationships in my adult life and my feelings were exhausting and terrifying all at the same time. writing, in all its grace, continued to heal and help me through all these BIG feelings. 


Love Me, Love Me Not

Think too much,

always been that way.

Thought too little

I suppose,

the first time love walked away.

 

Barely noticed,

selfish me,

thought he'll be back.

I was three.

 

Back and forth,

he would go.

To and fro,

my heart did follow.

Until one day,

he was just gone...

gone for good this time.

My heart broke,

but I did not cry.

didn't know how

and didn't know why.

 

Met many like him,

that loved me, loved me not

trying to heal that place in me,

the place that he forgot.

 

Think it will be different,

when it always is the same.

Blaming, hating, missing

has become my little game.

 

Changing who you are

by what you do,

is not as easy as it seems.

 

It's a broken heart

used to running,

that has to stop and feel.

 

It's a woman

who wants so much to appear strong,

allowing her soul to weep its tears.

 

It's a little girl

changing who she's always been

who loves me,

loves me,

loves me,

until I stand

in all I'm meant to be.

 

Don't you ever give up on yourself. 

All my Relations - Frances Stone, Ms. Recovery Writes

Frances Stone is the Author of A Reflection of Love ~ A Different Kind of Love Story,  a Recovery Counsellor and a Radio Co-Host of Talk Recovery Vancouver, a show about addiction and recovery issues, located in the DTES of Vancouver, BC. In her spare time, she does laundry and mothers three clever, curious and challenging little humans.