Survivor Story #24
 My Mess Became My Message - Addictive Designs

My Mess Became My Message - Addictive Designs

Originally published for Addictive Designs 2016 Christmas Campaign to raise money for UGM's Sanctuary Program.

 

Story 24/25 Survivor: Frances Stone

"To survive is to continue to live or exist after coming close to dying or being destroyed."

My obsessive, addicted brain and body that is never satisfied with just one of anything has come very close to destroying my entire life. My personal drug of choice is irrelevant as they all produce the same soul sickness that makes you hate yourself for needing the very thing that is killing you. 

Bipolar 2 also tried to defeat me before I could be diagnosed and gain essential life-saving information about how I work and what I need as a human being to function in my life. Mostly, this has been to give up the fight against myself and instead learn how to practice self-acceptance of my physical limitations and my emotional nature. 

I have been broken by my unhealthy need for love, regardless of the personal cost, which has driven and determined most of my adult life. My inability to choose wisely or let go easily has recreated the poverty, rejection and neglect I experienced as a child. I am responsible for stopping my own pain. Today, I am learning how to love myself, make peace with being a single parent and trust God with my life.

As a result of my recovery, I was able to advocate with The Single Mothers Alliance of BC to end the clawback of child support payments from single parents on social assistance in British Columbia. I also self-published my memoir, launched Talk Recovery Vancouver, a radio show about addiction & recovery issues and am now beginning my career as a Certified Addictions Counsellor. 

The paradox of addiction is that when I admit defeat, I find my power. I have survived these wounded parts of myself because I am not fighting this battle alone. When I feel weak, I find strength in my unshakable faith in God's love for me and in the support of my 12 step community. In addiction, nothing is possible, but in recovery —absolutely anything is possible. That is my truth and I live strong in it. 

Thanks for letting me share.

All my Relations - Frances Stone, Ms. Recovery Writes

 

Frances Stone is the Author of A Reflection of Love ~ A Different Kind of Love Story,  a Recovery Counsellor and a Radio Co-Host of Talk Recovery Vancouver, a show about addiction and recovery issues, located in the DTES of Vancouver, BC. In her spare time, she does laundry and mothers three clever, curious and challenging little humans.